You're Better at Public Speaking Than You Imagine

Today, an acquaintance of mine gave a statement of thanks and gratitude at the end of a networking event we were both attending. I spoke with him after, and he said he was "nervous" and "shaking" and this his voice was "warbling," and made many other comments about how poorly he did.

He did fine. Excellent, even, considering the applause that came from the group (and my own opinion!). Yet, he was still mildly dismissive of my "good job!" congratulations.

I see this all the time — and often did it myself — and it hits me that maybe (for some people) the problem with getting on stage is less the fear of embarrassing ourselves in front of each other than it is embarrassing ourselves — in front of ourselves.

It's a bias we have that we think we need to be perfect when public speaking, but the reality is that, as in all things, we don't need to be perfect. And that's the crux of the matter. For first time speakers, you don't need to be perfect.

The audience will support you and will not noticed a vast majority of your faux pas' that, to you, are brighter than the sun. And even if they do notice, they will forgive you.

So that's out of the way (he said, sarcastically).

Your past self will also forgive you for any slights you made. But unlike your audience, you past self has far grander expectations for you than the audience does. Far, far grander. Expectations of speaking that no human could ever hope to live up to. You're bound to "fail" when making such comparisons. Little wonder we're afraid when our past self is setting us up for not meeting its expectations.

But you won't "fail." You might stumble or stutter. Or you might not. If you focus on the bad outcomes; if you focus on the impossible roadmap your past self has laid in front of you, yes, you'll get misdirected. So leave your imagination behind. Focus instead, for the time you are a beginner, on a friendly face in the audience. Just one or two. The audience is far less a critic of you than you think.

There's one caveat to all of this inspirational re-direction of your thoughts. You can delude yourself to thinking you're great at public speaking, when in fact you aren't It's the obverse of the coin of public speaking fear: being overconfident or even laissez-faire. But the solution is easy: Be authentic at all times. Keep learning. Keep practicing. Keep yourself open to helpful evaluations and adapt your style, over and over again.

You don't need to be perfect to prove yourself to yourself. You just need to be on stage.

And rest assured, you are far better at public speaking than you give yourself credit for.