Comfort in Interviews
My first "real" job in tech was with a local internet service provider, or ISP. This was just when the ubiquity of the Web was not quite there and AOL had their marketing campaign to drown everyone in compact discs with their AOL Onlne platform.
I worked there for less than a year. A coworker of mine mentioned that Qualcomm, a massive tech company (and even bigger nowadays) was hiring for a much better hour salary. Trying to keep some sense of loyalty to the current company I was at, I gave notice and took the time to have a meeting with my boss so I could tell him what was up.
That meeting did not go well.
The quick of it was that I put my foot in my mouth at one point. I brought up a personal point of why I wanted a pay raise and health benefits, two things that I would have gotten going to Qualcomm. He refused — and then indelicately pointed out that "bringing up personal issues was a 'no-no'" in the work environment (to paraphrase). This was the first time I'd ever attempted to negotiate the conditions of my job. My boss was, unsurprisingly, much more experienced in these matters so I thought, and his response and attitude hit me hard. I thought I'd screwed up badly. I cared (too much) about his opinion.
I also rejected the "opportunity" to stay in my current position and took the new job at Qualcomm.
It took a long while to realize I was not at fault, not bad, nor made some life-shattering mistake. Rather, I was young, naive, wanting to try something new, and eager to get a pay-raise. I had taken my bosses comments too personally at the time — and as part of that, my fear of interviews was unduly exaggerated for years.
I got over it, eventually.
Learning public speaking skills was a big help in overcoming that bias, that fear. To really grow in public speaking (and really, in life in general), it helps to get candid and safe feedback. It helps to hear from others, people who observe and critique, but do not judge. Friends. These evaluations not only help improve one's speaking skills, but they also demonstrate that one does not need to take things personally and that being relaxed and open to suggestions can be a normal state of mind.
After many years of "hardening" myself (yet, still be soft and accepting), I put interviews in a new light. I was far more casual about my approach. I was a better listener to the interviewer. I learned how to ask questions that were better oriented towards mutual benefit. And importantly, if I was dealing with someone I felt was hostile or simply not engaged with me, I didn't take it personally. I objectively listened to their words politely and if I didn't think there was a fit, I'd let them know and exit the interview myself.
That was the power of my public speaking training. The ability to approach interviews with a casualness I'd never known before, yet still be serious.
The exit interview I had leaving that ISP deeply colored my outlook towards business — it was the nail on the coffin of what was not the most positive way to start my career (though I am grateful for the experience and my awesome co-workers and reports the short time I was there) — but partly through public speaking training (which started in Qualcomm, by the way), I at least managed to change both my approach and my attitude, adding much to my later success in my subsequent career.
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